Hollywood is still chasing that magic unicorn: a good film adaptation of a video game. They tried doing Tomb Raider twice before starring Angelina Jolie, and the results were...let's just be charitable and say mixed. But, the video games got a reboot, and Hollywood loves it some reboots of existing franchises, so here we are again with a completely new take on Lara Croft. The new version of Lara trades in her DDs for a little more personality and a lot more vulnerability, this time in the form of Alicia Vikander. It also dumps all the campy stuff that tends to go along with a character who is famous for somebody accidentally giving her giant triangular boobs. Unfortunately, if you're going to play it serious like that you really have to be on point, and this new Tomb Raider ...is not. So let's talk about why that unicorn remains free:
Cranky T-Rex tears into meaty discussions of politics, philosophy, and culture with his sardonic wit.