Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Godzilla Award (8/16/09)

The Godzilla Award was founded in honor of my cousin from Japan, who unfortunately took his own life in 1998 after he was tricked into starring alongside Matthew Broderick in one of the worst American films ever made.

One of Godzilla's most famous traits was his ability to do massive damage with just the power of his breath, and so we dinosaurs have created an award that recognizes the biggest blowhards we can find.

This week's winner is...

Senator Arlen Specter (D-PA)! Senator Specter wins for complaining about having to use his precious time to answer to his constituents, especially since they've been foaming at the mouth as a result of the health care debate.

Senator Specter said:

"I’m encouraging constitutional rights. I’m encouraging constitutional rights by coming to Lebanon to talk to my constituents. I could be somewhere else. I don’t get any extra pay — I don’t have any requirement to be here. But for somebody –"

Naturally, Senator Specter is cut off by the crowd profusely apologizing for having wasted his time. Although, they could also be shouting that he works for them and that he reports to them, but it's difficult to tell.

Clearly Senator Specter has gotten so old that he has developed a common disease among politicians called "Occupational Alzheimer's", wherein a person has worked at a place so long that they have entirely forgotten their job description. Senator Specter had even forgotten what party he was in, and had to switch.

As a friendly reminder Senator Specter, you don't get extra pay for town halls because talking to your constituents is part of your original job description, which is why the setup of and transportation to and from these events is covered by those very same taxpayers.

For rumbling down upon your constituents as though they were your peasant servants, we bestow upon you this week's Godzilla Award.

Congratulations Senator Specter!

Thanks to for reporting the story.

Previous Winners:
Linda Douglass
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi

Do you think you know someone who has enough hot air in their belly to destroy a city? If so, you can nominate them for a Godzilla Award by sending their name and a link to their most recent episode to:

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