Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Godzilla Award (8/9/09)

The Godzilla Award was founded in honor of my cousin from Japan, who unfortunately took his own life in 1998 after he was tricked into starring alongside Matthew Broderick in one of the worst American films ever made.

One of Godzilla's most famous traits was his ability to do massive damage with just the power of his breath, and so we dinosaurs have created an award that recognizes the biggest blowhards we can find.

With all of the Congress critters running around calling protestors angry mobs and nazis, it was a tough pick this week and a very close vote. But, in the end, one nomination stood above the rest.

This week's winner is...

Linda Douglass! Ms. Douglass wins for telling everyone not to believe their lying eyes.

“Hi. I’m Linda Douglass. I’m the communications director for the White House Office of Health Reform, and one of my jobs is to keep track of all the disinformation that’s out there about health-insurance reform. And there are a lot of very deceiving headlines out there right now, such as this one — take a look at this one. This one says, ‘Uncovered Video: Obama Explains How His Health Care Plan Will Eliminate PRIVATE Insurance.’

“Well, nothing can be farther from the truth. You know the people who always try to SCARE people whenever you try to bring them health-insurance reform are at it again. And they’re taking sentences and phrases out of context, and they’re cobbling them together to leave a VERY false impression. The truth is that the president has been talking to the American people a LOT about health-insurance reform and what is at
stake for them.

“So what happens is that because he’s talking to the American people so much, there are people out there with a computer and a lot of free time, and they take a phrase here and there — they simply cherry-pick and put it together, and make it sound like he’s saying something that he didn’t really say.”

Not only does Ms. Douglass claim that what Obama said wasn't what he said, she goes so far as to claim it's engineered by a bunch of bored folks with nothing better to do then mess with their administration.

Such bluster would be worthy of the mutant lizard himself in its own right, but this also carries with it the acidic taste of hypocrisy coming from a woman who once called herself a journalist.

For that, we bestow upon you this week's Godzilla Award.

Congratulations Ms. Douglass!

Previous Winners:
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi

Do you think you know someone who has enough hot air in their belly to destroy a city? If so, you can nominate them for a Godzilla Award by sending their name and a link to their most recent episode to:

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